Are you burned out?

Where have I been? REAL TALK! What “Burnout to Breakthrough” really looks like…

by Esther Oparah on October 19, 2012

“I surrender to my higher good.” –Sanaya Roman

It’s been almost a full three months since my last blog post. So what happened?

Well, I can only describe it as hitting a glass ceiling of my spiritual journey as well as my comfort zone. All my life I’ve always felt my purpose was to teach, serve, inspire, make people laugh and empower and embrace their unique talents and abilities. After 35 years, I finally gained the courage to stop feeling burned out, break away, lay it all on the line and pursue my passions despite the opinion of other people.

I carried with me over 10+ years of spiritual lessons and principles that I used to empower my transition and I always knew one day I would teach others what I learned so they too can feel empowered and experience a life of joy, purpose and freedom.

So here I was, yearning for a way to communicate my passion to the world. As the Law of Attraction applied itself, naturally I began to attract every resource I needed to get the job done. I continued to ask God “HOW?” and then allowed myself to receive the answers. One morning I woke at 3am with an idea for a workshop. I didn’t take any of this seriously, I was actually frustrated at waking up at that hour and not being able to fall back asleep so easily. Until I continued to wake up at 3am for the next 6-8 weeks receiving this Divine inspiration that ultimately gave birth to “The BLACK SHEEP Workshop”.

I hired the most awesome Business Coach, Brenda Rivas. Less than two months later, this blog page was complete with the free report and all! I was on a roll and I posted my first three blogs and signed up for several social media sites and then I just STOPPED! My mind and my spirit went blank. I couldn’t think of anything to say or write. I literally froze.

Why? Why after accomplishing so much in such a small period of time did I now freeze up like a popsicle? I froze because I was getting too close to revealing my Divinity to the world. The following questions began to oscillate through my mind like a ferris wheel from hell: Was I ready to show up in the world? Was the world ready for me? Am I an expert? What if people rejected my workshop? What if they told me NO? What if they tell me YES? Is my coaching good enough? What the hell did I get myself into? Uhh…was corporate america that bad? I was miserable but at least I was familiar with that misery. For me, entrepreneurship was uncharted territory. Will I be able to run a business? These other coaches and gurus have 20 years on me, who am I to show up now? Is my website good enough? What if I run out of savings? Am I too fat? Am I good enough? WHAT IF I FAIL?

I spent the next month stressed and frustrated because no matter what I did I couldn’t overcome this “shitty committee” in my mind enough to focus and move forward. I’ll be damned…I was burned out again!!

So how did I recover? I stopped taking my work for granted and began to re-read “The BLACK SHEEP Workshop” all over again. It was amazing (not just saying that because I wrote it) but reading something I wrote from such a Divine space brought tears to my eyes and reconnected me to my Higher purpose. From that Divine space I decided to take a break. I was on information overload and could not keep up the pace.

Next, I used this break to seek help from Brenda and my coaching buddies to address each and every question this “shitty committee” was throwing my way. I can’t explain the relief I felt after verbalizing these issues and receiving constructive, supportive and empowering feedback. I began to focus on what I wanted instead and continued to slowly feel better around each issue. The “shitty committee” didn’t stop but when I heard those questions, I was aware of where and why I was hearing them and then I knew to “respond” and not “react”.

I slowly began to understand that I was entering into a new level of spiritual growth. I had to break through this resistance or spiritual glass ceiling by facing my hidden demons and choosing to surrender to my higher purpose. Brenda shared with me a quote that was told to her, “For every new level, a new devil”.

What a lesson learned on this never ending journey of purpose, passion, freedom and enlightenment. Burnout is burnout no matter in corporate america or as a business owner. We must practice how to manage the “stress” in our daily lives. Stay tuned to my next blog entitled, “Do you respond or react?” I will discuss more of my spiritual revelation and how you can apply what I’ve learned in your daily lives.

It’s good to be back, welcome home Black Sheep!

LIVE YOUR BLISS!

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Tips on Ways to Stand Up and Stand Out in the Workplace

by Esther Oparah on July 22, 2012

Do you feel invisible at work?

Do you manage to sometimes stick your foot in your mouth?

Is the discomfort of speaking your mind preventing you from advancing in your career?

Is your inter office relationships frayed with contention?

During my years in the corporate arena I experienced the above situations and I have also witnessed many of these taboo awkward moments. The inability to stand up and stand out in the workplace are some of the main contributors of “organizational” burnout (download your free report at TheBLACKSHEEPWorkshop.com for more information about “burnout syndrome”)

Your “BLACKSHEEP Factor” is what I term as that indefinable quality a person has that distinguishes them in an appealing or attractive way. I have listed several tips and strategies that I used to excel in my career that will bring out your “BLACKSHEEP” in the workplace.

Even if you have justified to yourself reasons to feel resentment toward your company or coworkers, you must develop a pleasing personality in the workplace. In both middle and upper management I worked with coworkers that held so much resentment they were unable to initiate or return a “good morning” greeting.
Personalities are like snowflakes, no two are the same. Some coworkers may feel intimidated by your appearance or demeanor, but you can’t take it personally. Find ways to bridge the gap by communicating with simple small talk. Keep in mind, every time you open your mouth in the workplace is an opportunity for you to connect and establish rapport. Use these opportunities to your advantage, even if it’s just giving a simple compliment.
What would you say if you were on the elevator with the CEO of your company? Avoid feeling intimidated and awkward around upper management by preparing an elevator speech. An elevator speech is an “audition” or an opportunity to express your capabilities and value to an influential person/people in a short period of time. Consider the “sins”, or eliminating them, when you think about perfecting your elevator speech. Make sure your information is accurate (i.e., correct corporate titles, etc.) Speak plainly and clearly to describe your business. Focus on your customers or what you do for them and how you help them overcome their challenges. Describe positive customer outcomes. Do NOT—Spout off slogans and tag lines, numbers and data points—this is your chance to show the real you, not a bunch of memorized points.
You must become good at communicating your ideas skillfully and with a positive and supportive attitude. Stay mindful of the language you use when you verbally communicate with coworkers. In corporate meetings I have noticed cardinal communication sins made by coworkers and managers attempting to convey ideas. Remember to practice humility when addressing subject matters. The following is a list of patronizing communication “sins” I used to teach a class about Leadership to college students with INROADS:

Sin #1: Misuse of the word “Certainly.” Using the word certainly to answer a yes or no question is perfectly acceptable. However, in most cases it demonstrates passive-aggressive manipulation. Example: I certainly hope your report will be on time this week.
Sin #2: Being indirect and weak, “I don’t see why not.” This phrase makes you sound sneaky or weak. It implies that you are leaving the door open to cover your rear… just in case. Remember, strong and direct communication is key.
Sin #3: Saying “I’m just being honest”. Starting a sentence with, “Honestly”, or “To tell you the truth” makes it seem like you are not being honest or that you are saying this because your integrity is often in question. Don’t cause your listener to wonder about you unnecessarily.
Sin #4: “I’m just saying” means I’m criticizing you. “I’m just saying”, is never preceded by a positive statement. If you need to criticize something or someone, do it in a straightforward, professional manner. Not using off hand, indirect, wimpy methods.
Sin #5: It’s okay to repeat things often, just don’t say you are repeating things ≠ “Like I said…” Using phrases like “As I said before”, implies that the listener may not have the intellect to understand what you are trying to say. Repeating things helps everyone to make a focused connection. Just don’t insult the listener while you are repeating things.
Sin #6: “Basically” destroys every sentence it’s in. This phrase is annoying and adds no value to the sentences you are attaching it to. Remove it from your vocabulary because speakers who are constantly throwing it in may be perceived as not being able to collect their thoughts and speak intelligently.
Sin #7: The nonverbal…facial expressions speak as loud as words!

The same rules in life apply in the workplace. Treat others as you would like to be treated. I advanced in my career into various positions with no prior experience due largely to always displaying a pleasing personality. When I spoke in meetings it was to provide insight or information pertinent to the matter at hand. I listened without interrupting and always backed up my position using company standards and policies.

The BLACKSHEEP Workshop includes even more tips and strategies to advance in your career. Included is the #1 strategy to rocket launch your chances to advance, a strategy I term, “The Dyann Effect”. Discover even more ways you may be unconsciously sabotaging your corporate image and learn how to modify your thoughts and attitude to attract more opportunities to quickly advance in your career. Good luck to your success and live your bliss!

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From Burnout to Breakthrough!

by Esther Oparah on July 4, 2012

What was more difficult? The transition from relaxed to natural hair or giving up my corporate paycheck to discover and pursue my passion?

Both proved to be soulful journeys that presented a prize of a life of freedom once completed. Making the decision to show up in the world as someone different takes courage and tenacity.

Throughout my career, I found it quite difficult to fit in and not make a lot of waves against the consensus. If I felt that something in the workplace was not fair, I gladly spoke up, often to the chagrin of other coworkers. I felt deep down inside there was a higher purpose in every event. What I did not tolerate was the mistreatment of anyone based on gender, race or class.

Aside from workplace civility, there was a much deeper inner knowing that just felt larger than my job as a Chemist. I didn’t know what I was meant to do but I knew it wasn’t working with beakers and toxic chemicals for the rest of my life. I simply decided to start asking God more questions and clearing the negative chatter and feedback from my environment so that I could receive the answer.

There is a part in every one of us that wants to stand up and stand out. There is a higher calling in all of us that is sitting on the bench waiting to be called to bat for the first time.

I call the part of you that screams to get in the game of life, your BLACKSHEEP. This is the part of you that stands apart from the crowd. This is your authentic self, the REAL you, your true passions, talents and abilities that often go to the grave with us because of the fear that it won’t be accepted.

I silenced that inner knowing in my life for over 30 years! Growing up, there was a part of me that didn’t follow the crowd. I formed the habit of doing what was best for me at an early age. I couldn’t understand why I felt different from everyone else and many times it appeared that I wasn’t loyal or committed. But if what was presented in front of me did not serve me and I knew that whatever decision I made could possibly have long-term consequences, I simply did not engage. But why?

As an adult, after many years of being obsessed with self-development and spiritual growth, I’ve come to understand that I’ve always had this “knowing” of a higher calling. I was simply a child that enjoyed spending the majority of time inside my own head. I excelled in academics because I loved questions and challenges and I did not accept anything in my life as final. As a teenager I didn’t know how to express my individuality so I simply spent most of my time alone creatively thinking.

So is it a surprise that I took on the challenge of going from relaxed hair to natural? No. It’s also no surprise that I gave up a six-figure income to pursue my dream of owning my own business, my time and my freedom. Will most people understand? No. Will their surprise and comments affect my path to destiny? No. No one else’s limitations of themselves will affect my unlimited potential. I was burned out in my career and my BLACKSHEEP within was ready to reveal itself. I finally allowed it, and now I wake up every morning with a sense of freedom, excitement and motivation to start the day. Both were challenging transitions, but both rewards have been priceless.

I’ve candidly revealed my spiritual journey to the world because I accept that my experiences will now serve to help others who are unfulfilled in their careers. I’ve identified the challenges I faced and how I overcame them to achieve a life of joy, passion, purpose and FREEDOM.

You can experience my journey and take spiritual note of what resonates with you. Go to TheBLACKSHEEPWorkshop.com and download my free report called, ”10 Signs of Burnout Syndrome and How to Snap Back!” I promise you won’t regret it

Thank you and LIVE YOUR BLISS!

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